I lost my dog this weekend. Fifteen years with the kid who changed my life. I got him when I was ten years old and it’s an odd feeling because you just think they’ll live forever. His passing happened suddenly, which is why I think this hurts more. The only sign was that he walked slower than usual (which makes sense for his old age) and a few days before he passed, he got really sick and my family took him to the vet who said he had an infection. He got injections and painkillers and later that night, he passed away. It was all very sudden.
The first thing my mom said in her grief was ‘lets not own another dog again.’ I understood where she was coming from but my dog taught me so much about the fragility and shortness of life. I saw the evolution of him as a puppy, a toddler, adult and then an older dog. I realized at an early age that he made me very happy. He was one part of my life where I felt true joy and through him, I knew I could be okay. It sounds dramatic but I guess I have to backtrack and say growing up was tough. All families have issues in their own ways, and the way I coped with mine, was with my dog. I guess he was the angel I needed at that time. And as an adult now, I am at a healthier mindset to take things on by myself.
I guess if we think of it this way, he was an angel sent to help me become who I am today and now that I can handle life on my own, it was time for him to go. I wish he could have stayed forever though.
Nothing is forever. I learned that, too. When there are good times, there will inevitably have to be bad times. As there is life, there is also death. Reality is sad, and maybe the harshness of it all is why people would rather dismiss it.
Through my dog, I learned patience, unconditional love and living in the moment. No guarantee for tomorrow so forgiving and moving on today. Something that people take years of self reflection and therapy to figure that out, I learned from an eighteen pound giant yorkshire terrier named Cheese.
As I grow older, I know this won’t be the last time I battle grief. It isn’t the first time for me, either. I am aware it will only become worse.
If you’ve ever lost anyone in your life, I am sorry. It is all a pain, and it is unfortunate that the pain never really goes away- it just becomes easier to deal with. The light at the end of the tunnel is you will always be okay again.
Thank you for reading.
