We spend so much time idly scrolling social media, auto-playing the next video and subconsciously digesting so much unnecessary commentary that it’s easy to forget what making a conscious life decision feels like. How being responsible and accountable for your actions is a waterfall effect to the rest of your life. It seems like life on auto-pilot has become the normal way to live, and I don’t know about you but I don’t really like that.
In elementary school when I got my report card, one of the first things I’d look at would be the comments on my performance. Too many times, I remember being ‘agreeable.” As a 10 year old, I literally had no idea what it meant but whatever it meant, it never really seemed like the most positive comment. Did it mean my teachers liked how much I followed the status quo? Did they like that I was a rule-follower? Did they enjoy knowing I’d probably grow up on a standard path of graduation > college > corporate job > family and kids?
If so, I mean. Yes, I did end up doing a lot of that (no kids though), but what I hoped it never meant was that I’d always be a follower. Sure in some aspects, I’m okay with that. I’ll just follow other people’s lead. I’ll let people who have better strengths in that aspect take the lead. We do live in a society where I can’t be doing everything on my own, nor would I really want to. Unless…anyone want to sell me an island??
However, when it comes to parts of my life where I do have control. Where I can influence the narrative, why wouldn’t I take the lead? Again, it’s easy to live on auto-pilot but one day ten years later that auto-pilot is going to get boring and you’re going to wish you had done SOMETHING with your life.
I’m not a proponent of achieving X at Y age, or putting timelines on life. The main reason is because….who told you that would make you the happiest? When you cross that off your list, are you now happy? Or did you spend the last X number of years tunnel-focused on that goal that you forgot about the rest ?
I’m drifting from the original theme of this prompt: being the leader of your own life. Here is a loaded question to ask yourself to get this type of personal work started:
- In your ideal life, what does your (1) finance (2) social life (3) career (4) family/romantic life (5) self-fulfillment (hobbies) look like?
I recommend writing this down and looking back at it every quarter as a reminder and promise to yourself that life will look different if you move different. Leave it somewhere visible so that it’s top of mind. This is your manifesto and should guide your life.
Once you have this down and can imagine your life, then you should write the smaller steps to achieving the larger one. For example, if your ideal life for hobbies is that you’ve become a reader, the smaller steps would be to build the habit of reading (for ex) one book every two weeks.
It’s all so achievable. I think the reason we stay on auto-pilot is because thinking, writing out a goal chasing it is the exact opposite of auto-pilot. It feels harder. It feels harder because it’s different. But nothing in life has ever come easy. And if you don’t want an easy life then the only option is to make harder choices.
The effect this will have on your life will be palpable. It will change the way you see yourself, change the people you surround yourself with and change the way you interact with others.
More on that in another article though.
